Diving in...or out?

This month's goal has been to Control What's Controllable. So for the last couple weeks I've been focusing on doing something when I can, and letting things go when there is nothing to be done. I've already learned a really important lesson about myself too!

I'm not good at it. But I'm trying.

The main thing I've noticed that puts my knickers in a twist is my work life. It's never quite been what I want it to be and it's time to change that.

For the last 7 months I have been working as an Office Services Clerk at a Law Firm downtown. I was so grateful to have had the opportunity to work here, as the job just happen to fall in my lap during my summer unemployment. I work with some fun and friendly people, and it's nice to have a job. But it is unfulfilling, and not very challenging, and just not in any field in which I would like to grow.

Before this job, I was laid off from a job I had been in for 5 years, and miserable for 3. I was working for a nonprofit whose mission I believed in, but I was a remote employee, and had a difficult time growing and learning and being a part of the team. But I tried, and I went home frustrated most days, and I exhausted myself past the point of burn out in that job, for the paycheck.

See, I have a tendency to stay comfortably miserable for fear of failing if I try something else. I'm terrified to do things I'd actually be interested in, or that might actually be challenging, because if I fail, I don't know those repercussions. I know how devastating losing a job I hate is, I can't imagine losing one I love.

Fast forward to today, when I find myself in a very VERY fortunate position of having an amazing husband with whom I have worked hard over the past year and a half to position ourselves decently comfortably financially. We entered into married life with only student loan and mortgage debt, as well as retirement accounts and little safety net. We are so very fortunate to have the opportunities to be in this position, and he's letting me take advantage of that fortune.

So I'm quitting my job. Actually leaving a job voluntarily, and diving into unemployment (as I can see it now). I'm jumping into all the things we want to do that don't fit into the 9-5 world. I'll be spending time working on some projects we want to get going as well as focusing inward towards my strengths and how to utilize them. And although I will be looking very hard over the next few months for a job that I can grow in and be proud of, I will also be spending time taking care of the house, and myself, and our relationship in ways I am unable to do with all of my personal tanks running on empty.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and preach to quit your job, and take a chance and travel the world... because it's unrealistic for about 99.9% of people.  But if you could possibly, how can you not?

How can you stay comfortably miserable the sake of being uncomfortably fulfilled?

Stay tuned for updates!

Balls

2017 Monthly Challenge

Clearly I need a catchy new name for my challenge... "12 Goals for 12 Months "? "12 for '17"? "The Year Lindsey Tries to Stick to Something for the Love of All That is Holy?!!!"?

This year I've decided to pick one goal to focus on every month in the hopes that they build on each other and make this year productive and fulfilling. The 12 goals aren't really fleshed out all that greatly yet, but I could either hem and haw and get them all perfect in my head, or just start doing them and start with today. I hear there is no greater time to start something.I'll post the rest of the months' challenges before too long but in order to get started. Drum Roll for me in your head, please:

JANUARY: CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLE

This is a great struggle of my life, having been raised by a long line of (as my mom would call us) Control Enthusiasts. I do not accept that there are things in my life that cannot be controlled, I nit pick at all the things that can, and mostly stand around in a state of unrest and inaction worrying about my intense lack of control.

Enough already! Instead of being upset at all the things that I cannot control, wasting preciously scarce brain power, I'm going to do things that I can. If something is bothering me, or something needs done, and I have control over it, it will be done this month.

Laundry piling up? I can fix that. Budget out of control? I have an app for that (seriously, the Every Dollar App - Dave Ramsey- Check it out). Getting Chubby? I can work out. Have a shitty job? This one's going to take longer than January, but it's being worked on.

I have spent a great deal of my time doing nothing because everything feels so out of control. It seems too big, too insurmountable to fix my cluster f**k of a life. But I know that when my house is clean, and the clutter is put away, and I'm on top of the every day minutiae that can build up, that life seems brighter and more hopeful.

So there it is ladies and gents. I'm controlling the controllable. And more than that I hope to share my journey here with you. The struggles and the successes, and all my ridiculous stream of consciousness thoughts along the way.

If you're interested in doing a similar program - get in touch! Let's commiserate and celebrate!

Happy New Year!
Balls