January 18, 2017

Diving in...or out?

This month's goal has been to Control What's Controllable. So for the last couple weeks I've been focusing on doing something when I can, and letting things go when there is nothing to be done. I've already learned a really important lesson about myself too!

I'm not good at it. But I'm trying.

The main thing I've noticed that puts my knickers in a twist is my work life. It's never quite been what I want it to be and it's time to change that.

For the last 7 months I have been working as an Office Services Clerk at a Law Firm downtown. I was so grateful to have had the opportunity to work here, as the job just happen to fall in my lap during my summer unemployment. I work with some fun and friendly people, and it's nice to have a job. But it is unfulfilling, and not very challenging, and just not in any field in which I would like to grow.

Before this job, I was laid off from a job I had been in for 5 years, and miserable for 3. I was working for a nonprofit whose mission I believed in, but I was a remote employee, and had a difficult time growing and learning and being a part of the team. But I tried, and I went home frustrated most days, and I exhausted myself past the point of burn out in that job, for the paycheck.

See, I have a tendency to stay comfortably miserable for fear of failing if I try something else. I'm terrified to do things I'd actually be interested in, or that might actually be challenging, because if I fail, I don't know those repercussions. I know how devastating losing a job I hate is, I can't imagine losing one I love.

Fast forward to today, when I find myself in a very VERY fortunate position of having an amazing husband with whom I have worked hard over the past year and a half to position ourselves decently comfortably financially. We entered into married life with only student loan and mortgage debt, as well as retirement accounts and little safety net. We are so very fortunate to have the opportunities to be in this position, and he's letting me take advantage of that fortune.

So I'm quitting my job. Actually leaving a job voluntarily, and diving into unemployment (as I can see it now). I'm jumping into all the things we want to do that don't fit into the 9-5 world. I'll be spending time working on some projects we want to get going as well as focusing inward towards my strengths and how to utilize them. And although I will be looking very hard over the next few months for a job that I can grow in and be proud of, I will also be spending time taking care of the house, and myself, and our relationship in ways I am unable to do with all of my personal tanks running on empty.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and preach to quit your job, and take a chance and travel the world... because it's unrealistic for about 99.9% of people.  But if you could possibly, how can you not?

How can you stay comfortably miserable the sake of being uncomfortably fulfilled?

Stay tuned for updates!


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