June 9, 2016
So here I am again. I was laid off yesterday. 3rd time in as many jobs over the last 8 years. Today began another godknowshowlong stint of unemployment and all the fun that's included. Such fun as anxiety, depression, hopelessness and a general feeling of being lost.
It's not what was promised to me. I was promised that if I worked hard, and put my mind to it, I could have anything. I'd sue the people who told me that, but you can't sue your parents for loving you and encouraging you. So you're lucky this time Mr. and Mrs. Ball...
I can't really blame them though. other generations believed that, and it was rewarded. There was a time when the people upstairs knew your name, and valued your loyalty. You found a job that would provide for you and you kept it until you retired. Then you got something called a pension... anyone know what that means?!
So my parents loved me, and knew I was a loyal and hard worker, and all the prior evidence pointed to me being a successful person. I'm tough, and smart, and funny (at least I think so) and a good hearted person, and strong. I would grab the world by the Me's and just rock it. But here I am. 33, another position eliminated at a company, sitting on my patio, writing blog posts about my unfair go at things.
The truth is I'm okay. The truth is I know I can and will do better than this latest job. The truth is that I'll find a way and life will be fine, and everything will work again, at least for a while. I'm resourceful. I've done it before in a lot worse situations. I shouldn't have to. In a perfect world people see the value in me that those close to me see, and that I see. But the world isn't perfect. The possibility of a Trump Presidency shows me that, but I digress...
This time I have the benefit of a bit of financial cushion thanks to some smart real estate transactions. This time I have a severance package to ease the pain. This time I have the love and support of the most amazing man that I can imagine, who actually loves me back (god help him). This time I may just have time to figure out where I really want to be, instead of jumping at a paycheck and the security of a roof over my head.
The point is, friends, that I have you. And my parents who I will not be suing, and my sent-from-heaven love of my life, and a gym membership that's paid off through the end of the year. I'm going to be great, and I look forward to coming out of this time, stronger, happier, and on my way to bigger and better things. So stay tuned, because I actually have time to blog again!
Love and thanks for the support!