August 21, 2013

I Quit

It's what I do.

I'm passionate, and strong willed, and I have such great drive. Unfortunately those ideas and dreams are like fireworks rather than fires lit under my ass. They aren't even like the good fireworks on the 4th of July while "God Bless America" is playing. My fireworks are like sparklers lit while listening to the sounds of children crying "look at me!".

I like to say it's part of my charm or my childlike enthusiasm for life. But it's not. It's flighty and frustrating for everyone. Myself included. I make plans and then lose enthusiasm for them by the time they come around. I make promises to friends I don't keep. I forget to return calls or texts or follow up on that lunch date with a long lost someone.

I can't even commit to things I enjoy. Writing is one of those things, volunteering is one of those things, volleyball is another and possibly the only thing in the past year I stuck to for any length of time (until my shoulder crapped out on me).

I made the promise to myself almost a year ago to do a list of 30 things before I turned 30. I didn't even go back before starting this post to see how many I actually completed and I'm not going to fool myself into adding one more and making it a 31 things to do before I turn 31. I'm just going to let it be.

There is no major revelation coming at the end of this post. No big Ah Ha!  moment. Just a post to inspire myself, or guilt myself, into being a better person. A long rambling list of nothingness lighting a sparkler and hoping it becomes the fuse to some amazing fireworks.

Goodnight and wish me luck!


No comments:

Post a Comment