I'm having one of those days. I feel tired, stressed, sad, defeated, and all around crappy. This is (at least partially) because I will start my period tomorrow.
Once a month I feel like nothing in life is right. Once a month all the normal stresses and things I manage and juggle every day becomes too much and I crack. My mother usually gets the call. If it's not her, it's one of 3 girls I trust with my crazy. No matter who the lucky gal is, she knows I just need to vent, and that I know I'll pick myself out of this puddle of tears and lift the weight of the world once again in a matter of days. She knows I'm overly sensitive, overly reactive, and generally a pain in the ass. This once a month I am irritable, and weepy and ridiculous. I see it coming, I know why it's happening, and I always apologize for my overreactions even as they are occurring. But it happens.
I won't get in to my stress, my debt, my past, my future, or any of that. You have all that. You understand. I won't even try to justify this post, it's lack of logical flow, or it's purpose. It's purpose is because I feel like it and shut up!
So all the stress that is in my every day life is still here, but my sanity and ability to cope have left along with the lining of my uterus. All I can do is ride the wave of tears and blood. I try to manage the pain which is both emotional and physical; all during a time when my clothes are tighter, all I want to eat is chocolate and bread, and my body literally tears itself apart and flushes itself out. So pardon the hell out of me if, once a month, I yell at you a little, or cry my eyes out. And excuse me if my (not even as graphic as it actually feels) description of my life once a month has disturbed your delicate sensibilities. Man the fuck up and get me a cupcake!
I'm going back to crying now. I'll see you all in 5-8 days when my pants fit.
NOTE: This post does not discount the stresses in my life or any other woman's life. I want to make sure that the readers, especially the male readers, understand this. The reaction to stress and worries may be more exaggerated during this time, but the worries and stress are there all the time. So don't write a my words off by listening only to the emotions. Also don't think I'm going to jump off a building. I'll be fine.